Blog post #7 Envy Me?

            

         

 Me as a Senior Supervisor in Silverworks for 7 years I already experience to be envied by my co-workers. I don’t know why they envy me, I didn’t do anything to them maybe they envy me because they can’t perform the way I perform in my job though I always share my strategy to them and guide them but still there are some people that envy me. And it really affects my perception. Because they make rumors about me that sometimes hurt me emotionally and that emotion teach me to fight back against them which is not my behavior.

If the common emotion of envy can be destructive, it seems plausible that People do not like to be envied.  Research on how people feel and behave 

when  they  outperform  others  indeed  suggests  that  people  often  feel  bad 

after outperforming others, even though out performance often means doing 

well, which should feel good. Out performers often feel concerned about the 

feelings  of  the  persons  they  outperformed,  about  how  these  people  will 

react  to  them, and about whether  the  relationship with  them might  suffer. As a result, people sometimes prefer private praise 

to  public  praise,  even  though  one’s status can only be improved after public praise.  

Although  to  my  best  knowledge  no  empirical  research  directly 

investigated  how  the  fear  of  being envied influences  behavior, history and 

society  seem  full  with  examples  of  envy  avoidance  behavior.  People 

sometimes  also  forego  direct  gains,  because  accepting  them  would  make 

Other people feel bad

            And even you didn’t do anything there is always someone that will envy you, but there still a way to get rid of their envy to you. According to “Intense Emotions and Strong Feelings” by Mary C. Lamia “Being helpful or friendly to a person who envies you is a strategy that can diminish the destructive effects of their envy “ It is true that if you make friend with the person that envy you there’s maybe a chance that his/her envy will diminish. But still you need to be careful because there are also chance that they will take advantage to that. And on Fear of Being Envied Makes People Behave Well Toward Others from Science Daily “New research in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, has found that the fear of being the target of malicious envy makes people act more helpfully toward people who they think might be jealous of them.” Well for me If this is the only way to diminish their envy to me I’ll do it because Im not the only one who will benefit its for the good of each other.

            Being envied is not a good thing but if you look to a brighter side it’s a different form that someone idolized you and they admire what you have which is they want to have it to.

Blog post #6 Ancient Envy

         

Do you hear the kind of illness called envy? Of course each of us knows what envy is, we know how it feels like, and we know how this thing affects our behavior. But when this envy started, where it came from or who is the first person who felt this? I think this is the right time to answer those questions. Actually no one knows who, when or where did it started. There is no specific study for that but if you use your common sense maybe it started from the time that mankind live this planet. And there is also lot of story in the history that envy is a very big part of it, sometimes envy is the cause of war between clans, even in the time of Jesus Christ envy is there, based on “It Was Out of Envy That They Handed Jesus Over” by Anselm C. Hagedorn and Jerome H. Neyrey “Mark narrates how Pilate perceived that "it was out of envy that they handed Jesus over" (15:10). What did Pilate see that most New Testament commentators fail to notice? One writer has gone so far as to claim that ". . . envy is not a topic of any significance in ... the New Testament.  Yet Mark states that envy was the reason why certain people "handed Jesus over" to be killed.”

Since the time of Jesus Christ envy has a power to control mans behavior, based on the article above, See what’s happen to Jesus Christ he got crucified just because of Pilates envy to him. This shows how strong envy, if you can’t control it can be a cause for someone to get killed.

           

Also in the Greek mythology there is also a story that envy is involved according to the “Story of Persephone”  by Clare B. Dunkle “The gloomy Hades watched the progress of his brothers with envy. Zeus had for his queen the Goddess of Wives herself and he enjoyed the loving attention of many women. Poseidon, married to the gentle Amphitrite, had so many children that they filled the vast limits of the sea.” Hades envies his brothers because of their success. But this is not the only story that Hades envy Zeus and Poseidon. 

But I read this article “The History of Envy” by it says here that “  Maybe this one is true that envy is come from an angel. But I also red some story that says envy is from in different culture so where we should believe?

Now in our generation envy is more prevalent because of more things to be envy like career, gadgets, money, power and everything else that may provoke envy. The kind of envy that we have today will become a history to the next generation. When will come that envy will vanish maybe in the future when the earth was destroyed.

Blog post #5 Envy Everywhere

That is definitely right! Envy is everywhere, in our offices, schools, even in our homes. You can never escape envy. But where can you find envy most? I think in my work, maybe my officemates envy me because my boss always compliment my work, always recognize me or giving more incentives not because I am favorite but because  I am a very good employee which is my  office mates can’t do that’s why they envy me. That will be the start that they make noise against me just to pull me down. That’s the only thing that envy can do by annoying you. I’m already working so I already experience that kind of defamation. I noticed that it really has a bad effect to my career even though Im a good employee. But it has more bad effect on their career because they are the one who suffer that envy that makes them not great in their work instead of being a functional employee in our company.

            And according to “Envy at Work” by Tanya Menon and Leigh Thompson “Envy damages relationships, disrupts teams, and undermines organizational performance.”  Envy is really a distractive thing any different aspect like what articles said. It can affect our relationship with our friends, family, workmates or even in our brothers and sisters. Envy comes in deferent shapes and sizes so we really need to be careful.

           

In our home there is still envy, actually this is the place where we first feel the feeling of becoming envious. Maybe because our brother or sister receive a new toy from mom and dad maybe because its their birthday, but still you envy them, or maybe your not the favorite kids among your siblings or cousins so you will get jealous.

When I was young I also fought with my brother and sister because I envy them sometimes because their always getting our parents attention, but there are also times that they envy me. Having an envious act inside the family is not healthy to your relation between you and your family. Because it may cause misunderstanding, argument, and sometimes dissatisfaction with your parents and siblings.

           

But what are the cause of jealousy between siblings? According to “Siblings Rivalry” by M. Farouk Radwan “ “. I’m also agree with this statement because sometimes parents have favoritism. And also from M. Farouk Radwan there are some common parenting mistakes that lead to sibling’s jealousy or envy, the first one is creating competition between siblings. Creating competition between siblings the first mistake parents make which always results in sibling’s rivalry is letting their children perform the same exact activities. For example patents could send their children to play the same sport without realizing that each of them has different talents and skills and as a result the less talented kid will always feel jealous of the more talented one. Another one is comparing them to each other comparing children to each other always results in the development of jealousy between them. "Be polite like your brother" is one of the common phrases that ignite jealousy between siblings without the parents notice. And one last thing is birth order and siblings rivalry for example the first child usually feels jealous of the new born because of losing the excessive attention he used to get from his parents. Newborn children result in sibling’s jealousy because the other children always feel dethroned by the arrival of that new sibling

If this three most parenting mistake can avoid I think there will be no envious feeling between siblings. But this not the only places where envy lived, remember that envy is everywhere. So where ever you just be careful and never let other people envy you and don’t let them to put you down.

Blog post #4 Animal’s Envy

            

Is envy only happen in humans? Is it possible that animal also feels envy? The answer is yes! Because even though they don’t have knowledge like what human have they still have a feelings or reaction to their surroundings. Animals also feel this because they have possession like love, they also feel love or food territory or where ever there possession, envy will follow.

            It is socially prevalent in social animals that have fluid hierarchies. For example our pets in our homes like the man’s best friend the dogs. If you have lot of dogs in your backyard I am pretty sure that you have a favorite among all of them and there is one dog that becomes envious because it has lock of attentions, lock of treats from you. But I think it can’t do anything to express how envy it is. And even our closest genetic relative the primates like gorillas when they see other females mating with silverback, of course even human would jealous if they saw their partner with the other guy.

            From “Dogs Can Feel Envy, Study Suggest”  an article for National Geographic News, Friederike Range of the University of Vienna, Austria made an experiment with The team had one dog watch another dog receive a reward for doing a trick. When the watching dog performed the same trick and was not rewarded, that dog refused to do the trick again. Is this a proof that a dog can truly feels envy? If you base on their experiments maybe that dog really feels envy that time that’s why it refused to do the trick again.

So if our pets really feels envy like us human feel it maybe we also need to learn how to be equal when we treat them because it may cause that our pet may go away from us or it can hurt its buddy maybe. Let’s just treat our pets equally so there will be no problem.

Blog post #3 Positive Envy

            

We all know that envy is one of the seven deadly sin, and we also know that this is not a very good attitude when it comes of psychology. But is there any positive effect when we become envious. Well base on my experience I just realize that if I envy someone that they have a material thing that I want but I don’t have, I find ways to have it too so maybe the positive side of being envy is that you will become smart and you will motivate your self to have that thing. But maybe it depends on what you envy.

            I’m so curious about the positive effect of envy so I tried to ask some of my friends about my curiosity. I ask them “What do you think are the positive effect of becoming envious” My best friend Albert said that you will have a new goal. Then I realized that he got a big point! he said that “You may not even know you want something or just how much you want it until you see someone else having it. It can change your perspective on your current life situation and be much- needed wake-up call to set new goals and change things.” I become more interested if there’s any other positive effect of envy so I ask my other friend Claire. She said that when she envy someone it became her role model and she explain it to me she said “Seeing someone else with what you are now sure that you want lets you know that it's attainable and gives you someone to learn from.” My friend Claire got point too, it also happens to me sometimes that if I envy someone they become my role model.

 According to the article “"The Upside of Envy" by Koren Wetmore Dr. Gabriel says. "I may not even know I want that or could have that unless I see you doing or having it," So envy is truly works in positive way it may also helps you to know what you really want in life, makes you know who you really are. But don’t get me wrong it still a negative attitude it’s up to you how you cope your envy. Envy is motivational when you ask “What do I have to do to get they have.” Envy makes you motivate yourself in a positive way. You’ll be wiser and find ways by not hurting someone in able for you to get the thing that you want because they have it.

So if you envy somebody, make it in a positive way. Don’t let your envy eat you and make you always feel bad accept it as your teacher in success but don’t let it teach you how to hurt somebody just to surpass your envy. Envy is just an emotion that can be gone in days. Be careful when you envy some one